ARE YOU A CHAOS CULTIST?

Warning. Spoilers for the Enemy Within campaign.

1. When you meet a friend, do you:

A. Smile and say “hello”?

B. Scratch the right-hand side of your nose with the little finger of your left hand, while inserting the thumb of your right hand in your right ear, palm to the front and fingers fully extended?

2. Does your personalised stationery feature:

A. Your name and address?

B. A goat’s head and pentagram?

Notepaper.jpg

3. When you look in the mirror, do you think:

A. I’m getting greyer?

B. I’m looking more and more like a six-foot-tall cockroach?

4. You cover your book up with a false dust jacket. Is it to disguise your copy of:

A. Lady Schatterlei’s Lover, with the page corners turned down at the saucy bits?

B. The Secret Life of Demons?

5. What is your title?

A. Herr or Frau.

B. Magister.

6. How do you end your letters?

A. Yours ever.

B. The Time of Changes is coming!

7. Do the names of any clubs you are a member of include:

A. “Society”, “association” or “organisation”?

B. “Ordo” or a colour-plus-object formula?

Purple Hand

8. What is your preferred leisure activity:

A. Relaxing with a good book and a glass of wine?

B. Summoning a demon for no apparent purpose other than to provide a suitable climax to an adventure?

Night of Blood

RESULTS

All A. You aren’t the cultist they’re looking for. Move along.

Any B. Congratulations! You are a winner! To claim your mystery prize, send your name and address to Fabergas Heinzdork, Witchfinder General, Friedrichstrasse 13, Altdorf.

Title art by Igor Krstic. Internal art by Martin McKenna, Russ Nicholson, et al. Used without permission. No challenge intended to the rights holders.

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3 thoughts on “ARE YOU A CHAOS CULTIST?

  1. “3. When you look in the mirror, do you think:
    B. I’m looking more and more like a six-foot-tall cockroach?“

    And then you get an ad about a facial cream. “Say bye bye to skin tags and moles”

    If that’s not a hidden sign, I don’t know what is.

    Liked by 1 person

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